10/15/2016

#JournalDay1: The Moment When My Day Is A Tumblr Post


I WOULD probably take a binocular to search for my non existent 'care' if you have the audacity to ask "Wait, don't you have a college class today?" because no. Do I look like I care? I'm in total awareness of skipping one class --that always take a full day on every Saturday, but hey look at this perfect day that I've been longing to have for months: waking up early but not in rush to leave the bed, let alone the house, starting the day with with a glass of sweet sourly fresh cold drink and get a slight shiver on every gulp, back to back with Game of Thrones episodes, and wanting to slap Cersei every time she appears on screen, receiving something I ordered online, and wearing a cute turquoise socks with pink flowers all day, well plus a horrible period pain but hey I deal with that every month. No pencils, no papers, no portfolios, no glue stains, no cuts. Life today is basically tumblresque with cute socks and sweet drinks and tv series and rain, and not like every other normal day when it just like, how life really goes lol.


It's rough week for me, awful things happened in between college life and assignments and my mood swings decided to behave badly. I have to drag myself out of bed with full force and even after that I still should deal with the urge of giving up and try very hard not to spontaneously cry in the middle of crowd. Winding down seems like a right step to take. People might wonder, so hello people, world, this is how an introvert brain is wired. We recover ourselves from tiredness of interacting with the world by being alone. And no, we are not depressed or shy or anti social. We are the simple human being with simple needs. And if you still have questions, please proceed to someone else, you are draining us.

I kinda need to take a step back and take a look at the struggles and events that happened this week and I realize that the reason why I get upset so easily is that, I respond to negativity from people by thinking about it way too much, it affects my mood. Moreover, I get upset because I never expect any negativity coming intentionally from people. I didn't expect them to behave in such a way. I didn't expect to meet people who is just annoying and uncaring and have a very big ego to feed and just talk crap. I thought that if I treat them nicely, then they'll be nice too, but hey, it is new lesson to learn. And someone told me this mantra, basically straight forward life tip for every one who is in the middle of annoyance : Expect bullshit, but don't accept it. And I'm here, clapping my hands slowly in amusement and repeating a nod. Negative people doesn't deserve your time, or a place in your mind, or even the switch for your mood.


So dear someone, thank you for the real talk and probably the most useful and relevant life tip, you saved me from any upcoming annoyance in the future. And life, after this day ends, I'm ready for another battle round with you.

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